How To Be An
"IT" Girl
By Eva Marer
Health Magazine -- January/February 2002

Want to become a man magnet? Turn off the negative buzz in your head and tune in to your natural sensuality. We talked to Jacqueline Lapa Sussman, a psychologist and author of "Images of Desire: Finding your Natural Sensual Self in Today's Image Filled Society (Forge Books, 2001)" about how to do just that.

Q Health: Do you think women know what men are looking for in a mate?

A Jacqueline Lapa Sussman: Women Are obsessed with weight, skin, breast size and cellulite. But I interviewed hundreds of men for my book, and they never mentioned weight or breast size as a compelling sensual draw. Instead they talked about "her smile," her kindness," "her smell" or "her non-judgment of me."

Q: What does a poor body image do to your sex life?

A: It can put a real damper on it, because when you approach your lover, you're actually feeling self-conscious. If you approach your lover feeling "I'm not good enough," them that is what you are bringing to the experience of making love to him. Insecurity is a real turn-off.

Q: What makes a woman sensual?

A: Sensuality is an inner emanation, an energy that says, "I know I have it and I know you desire it." Women who have that kind of inner confidence don't have to look perfect. Think of Sophia Loren or Tina Turner. These women are aging, but they still sense their own lusciousness, the fullness of nature in themselves. When you feel that inner fullness, men can't help but be drawn to it.

Q: How can a woman connect with her sensual side?

A: Focus on what makes you feel powerful and sexy, and just let the other stuff go. A man would not be in bed with you if he did not already find you attractive.