Why Women Make Better Leaders
The Gloria Steinem Example
By Jaqueline Lapa Sussman
Women's Biz - January 2004

Many women believe that they have to act competitively and aggressively at work in order to keep up with male colleagues who are socialized from birth to be fierce, competitive, and ultra-focused do whatever is needed to succeed. Working with men, they say, makes them try to emulate male styles of leadership to be taken seriously and in doing so, lose their natural looser style.

Into the prevailing wisdom than the word "feminine" is to soft an image to lead came Gloria Steinem with her very feminine style. She has attained power not by conforming to what the social climate deems as powerful but by being caring, open and adventurous. I had the privilege of getting to know her when researching a book a few years ago on the inner psychological reactions of leaders on authority. I conducted interactive Eidetic Image Psychology experiments developed by Dr; Akhter Ahsen-the leading theoretician in mental imagery, -with both men and women in high positions in government and the corporate world. I probed beyond their rational conscious mind to reveal their hidden, innermost feelings, thoughts, and impulses, which is not the face we often show the world.

In doing so, I discovered that the leadership styles of men and women are very different. Although hardly average, Gloria Steinem may be the test case to prove it. I gave her a simple command to wave her hands in a criss-cross motion over a pin lying on her coffee table and for three full minutes repeated instructions not to grab it. She didn't, but later explained it was because it did not feel like something she'd do though she wondered whether others reacted the same way. "I didn't feel any reason to grab it," she announced. Although it appeared that she was obeying my commands, in fact the opposite was true. She was following her own inner sense.

I next asked her to wave her hands but now directed her to grab the pin in three minutes of exhortations which she did because it felt "natural." Finally I repeated a double-negative instruction: to not grab the pin or think of her childhood. Gloria broke both commands, revealing herself to be a rule breaker. Most men, on the other hand, follow those commands obediently.

Gloria recalled life as a wild child of six wandering around in a raggedy bathing suit with uncombed hair catching minnows. She felt excited and unselfconscious hunting for coins in the dark and cold water off a pier amidst giant scary catfish with long whiskers and other weird things. "It was adventurous and mysterious there," she said and later connected a lifetime of dreaming of finding objects or coins in sand or mud to this origin.

I interpreted the coins as the wealth of potential she had deep inside and the image of her courage to discover possibilities, an independent spirit, a sense of adventure, openness and a love of freedom and an ability to pursue the unknown or mystery of things. In many ways, Gloria is symbolic of women - in the different way she responded in the test compared to how men typically do.

Cutting to the chase of gender differences as evidenced by this test:

1. Men often reveal violent, destructive states of mind: women don't!

2. Females are at home with confusion and perplexity. Men cannot tolerate it; which suggest women can endure ambiguity and stress more easily than men.

3. Women can deny a felt emotion especially when those emotions are unwelcome, revealing strategic ability to maneuver under difficult circumstances. Men feel damaged when having to deny emotion.

4. Women become playful and use humor to effectively diffuse a situation in which they are being controlled. Men become rigid when feeling controlled.

5. Women cry to release tension then feel more strength. Men find it difficult to cry or release tension, so they hold tight and shatter more easily.

6. Women want to be real and true to themselves. Men don't consider issues of being real. Winning is what matters. "When I demonstrated to William Simon, the former Treasury Secretary of the United States, how to wave his hands he counted the number of times I waved my hands in order to figure out how to play the game to win.

7. Mental and emotional insights are expressed frequently by females, not the males.

8. The rules were broken most often by women. Men followed the rules.

Men have tremendous pressure to perform in all areas of their lives. They are rarely allowed to look vulnerable or needy and must crush their sensitivities to look tough and in control. This leaves them more rigid with fewer options to respond to throughout their lives. Although women traditionally have not been allowed power in our society, they have been freer to feel and be sensitive. The connection to their inner sensibilities from which rich impulses, thoughts and visions emerge, is more intact.

We need leaders who will break dysfunctional rules, bring truth into situations and remain open to new visions. We need women to be themselves, and as such, Gloria Steinem is a wonderful example.