Mommy, am I fat?
Girls as Young as 4 Years Old
are Worried About Their Weight
By JOANNE RICHARD
Toronto Sun- October 2004

MOM, this time you ARE to blame! Girls are developing fat phobias, body hang-ups and disordered eating attitudes and behaviours at a younger age, and experts believe that our fixation on fat, calories and body shape, coupled with the relentless media bombardment of ultra-thin images, is feeding this unhealthy preoccupation.

In a culture consumed with thinness and looks, some young children, especially girls, are overly concerned with their weight and are fearful of getting fat. Body esteem is terrible, says Dr. Ira Sacker, a world-renowned New York eating-disorders specialist.

Children are often just following examples set by obsessive, body bashing parents. "Remember, we as parents are teachers by example," says Sacker in an interview with the Sun.

Get a life, mom, and stop obsessing about body image, says Frances Berg, author of author of Children and Teens Afraid To Eat (Healthy Weight Network). "One of the reasons kids are in turmoil about their weight is because parents are."

FEEL GUILTY
The trend is out of control and only getting worse, says Berg.
"Four-year-olds are asking, 'Mommy, am I too fat?' Six-year-olds have full-blown eating disorders. And as many as 81% of 10-year-old girls have a form of disordered eating -- they restrict food, try not to eat fat, feel guilty when they eat," says Berg, a nutritionist and professor who stresses attitudes are what need changing, not bodies.

It's estimated that 10% of those with eating disorders are children.
According to psychotherapist Jaqueline Sussman, "when mothers don't feel they measure up to society's beauty standards, they knowingly or unknowingly pass on those feelings of inadequacy to their daughters."

And body dissatisfaction reigns: A Decima Research survey of 1,000 Canadian women reveals 66% would change at least one thing about their face or body if they could.

On the other hand, "a mother who accepts how she looks, and has a healthy attitude about weight, wrinkles, and aging, goes a long way in helping to counter the peer and media pressure her daughter faces," says Sussman, adding mothers are their daughters' most powerful role model.

Never before in history has there been such punishing cultural and social pressures to be thin. "It's severely damaging," she says. "Girls unhappy with the way they look is so prevalent that it's frightening. Young girls compare themselves to actresses and rap stars and TV and magazine images and always fail to measure up. They're getting the message that they're not okay."
Meanwhile, I've seen this disturbing trend firsthand -- as a regular
volunteer at a Mississauga elementary school for the past three years, I've overheard girls, some as young as five, worried about getting fat and telling others they're fat.

Outside of the class, body dissatisfaction abounds: Mothers express displeasure about self-perceived body flaws, weight gain, body shape and share their newest low-carb diet details. Compliments are heaped on those who've lost weight or are naturally thin.

'ATE PAPER'
Seems you can never be too thin! And kids pick up on this: "We tend to forget that small ears hear large," says Sacker, co-author of Dying To Be Thin: Understanding And Defeating Anorexia Nervosa And Bulimia.

Sacker has treated children as young as five and adults as old as 70: "One of my patients was 51/2 and ate paper because she was afraid to gain weight," says Sacker, adding that eating disorders tend to run in families. Sacker, director of the Eating Disorders Program at Brookdale Medical Centre in New York, says he is also seeing a doubling in incidences of disorders (anorexia nervosa and bulimia) in males, and a large increase amongst middle-aged women.

"Eating disorders are a life-long chronic emotional disease with death occurring in 20% of cases, due to complications," says Sacker, who adds parents need to move away from body image and stress healthy eating habits instead of dieting -- and then practise what they preach.

According to Berg, our fixation on thinness has devastating effects on our children. "Our youth-centred culture does not provide an environment that is nurturing or supportive for the healthy growth and development of our children.

In fact, it nurtures serious problems.

"Chaotic eating has become the norm for kids today as they diet, fast, binge, skip meals, under-eat and over-eat," she says. "One-fourth of teenage girls are severely undernourished, and many girls as well as an increasing numbers of boys suffer eating disorders. Their frequent attempts to lose weight can be extremely dangerous and result in injury, and even death. Even so, more youth are overweight than ever before. Often they are targets for cruel taunts and teasing."

According to statistics, food and weight control behaviour is highly
problematic with 27% of Ontario girls 12-18 years of age; 15% of them are predicted to develop clinical eating disorders.

According to Sussman, "women, old and young alike, are under the constant assault of media-generated images of youth, beauty, and thinness as the measure of a woman's worth. Everything around a woman tells her that how she looks is the key to her value. Young girls are bombarded with images of surgically enhanced bodies and airbrushed faces on the covers of popular adult, teen, and even preteen magazines.

"Is it any wonder, then, that they don't feel good about themselves? That they are unhappy with their looks, their natural body type and breast size? Girls today are feeling more inadequate at earlier ages than ever before," says Sussman, author of Images of Desire: Finding Your Natural Sensual Self In Today's Image Filled Society (Forge Books).

'SENSE OF SELF'
Warns Sussman: "Your attitude about your own body and sensuality, whether you talk about it or not, is automatically passed down to your daughter. Who you are affects your daughter's sense of self for the rest of her life.
"Fortunately you are also the strongest safeguard she has against our society's pressure to be thin and beautiful in order to feel valued," adds Sussman, of Jaquelinesussman.com.

According to Dr. Andrea Marks, pointing out our paunch and wrinkles does children a disservice. "Such messages tell a daughter that her mother doesn't feel very good about herself, that she has a narrow view of beauty and what's important about a person, and feels unhappy about her own inevitable aging process," says Marks. "Mothers who emphasize good nutrition, exercise, the importance of hard work, kindness, creativity and humour model more important values for their daughters."

Marks, an associate clinical professor at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine and co-author of Healthy Teens, Body And Soul: A Parent's Complete Guide To Adolescent Health (Fireside Press), says weight-obsessed mothers present a very limited view of body image to their daughters. "A beautiful body involves so many things: A broad smile, sparkling eyes, lovely hair, attractive makeup or jewelry, grace, strength and athleticism."

Parents who feel positively about their daughter and express their love and joy often, and support her assets and limits criticism, contribute immeasurably to her feeling good about herself, she adds.

HEALTHY HABITS
Shifting to healthier habits in order to prevent the onset of eating and weight problems is key, says Frances Berg, author of Children and Teens Afraid to Eat. Follow her three principles:
1. Eat well. Think of food as a friend to celebrate, enjoy, taste and
savour.
2. Live actively. Help children celebrate activity as a natural and joyful part of their lives.
3. Feel good about yourself and others. Celebrate and enjoy every child's special traits and talents. "Instead of struggling against a child's natural weight, parents and health professionals need to recognize and work with it," says Berg.

STARTING YOUNG

-- Harvard Eating Disorders Clinic, Boston